If you’re thinking of hiring a wedding planner but aren’t yet sure how to tell if she’s the right one, you’ve come to the right place.
Here, I’ll help you get a clearer picture with five practical questions that will guide you through this decision. Finally, we’ll look at the same concept from the opposite perspective: namely, how to avoid the wrong wedding planner and what warning signs should make you say, ‘Move on to the next one!’
What’s their style (and does it really reflect who you are?)
It’s very important to be on the same wavelength, including in terms of aesthetics, so the first step you should take, in my opinion, when choosing the right wedding planner for you is to have a look at their previous work – on their website, on social media or directly via YouTube videos – to get a feel for their style and see if it matches yours.
Every professional has their own vision and personal touch; some colleagues focus mainly on the shabby chic style, whilst others specialise in beach weddings. Personally, I have a more eclectic approach – I like to think outside the box, move away from the same old, same old, and find more eye-catching solutions.
Of course, you must bear in mind that the client always has the final say, so bear in mind that any previous work is always the result of this collaboration. Perhaps you can best gauge the true creativity of a wedding planner (or perhaps in this case it would be better to say ‘wedding designer’) from photo shoots where there are no clients and the wedding planner can therefore express her style freely.
Is she organised, clear and approachable during the initial contact?
The first meeting is crucial; it helps you gauge whether there’s the right rapport and also whether you feel listened to. So forget about pointless requests for quotes for their own sake and instead take the time to get to know (and then choose) the person who will work with you to organise the most important day of your life as a couple.
The way she replies to emails and messages says a lot: is she/he responsive, or do you have to chase her up? Is she vague, or does she give you all the information you need? When is she available, and when isn’t she? I, for example, try to set boundaries in terms of working hours and keep at least Sundays free (otherwise you can’t live a normal life), but the closer the event gets, the more I find myself replying outside of working hours, on Sundays, and sometimes even late at night if there’s a problem to sort out.
Do they speak your language (including on an emotional level)?
Empathy – the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes – is now widely regarded as an essential skill for any job involving contact with the public or, more generally, human relations. It goes without saying that it’s an absolute must for a wedding planner too!
It’s important to feel understood, especially during those moments of anxiety that are bound to arise throughout a whole year of wedding planning. A good rapport, therefore, counts just as much as expertise.
How do you work: do you have a method, a checklist, a plan?
Method is everything. Having a well-established method makes it easier to carry out the work and also to achieve the desired result. I have a method for everything: for marketing communications, for selecting my trusted suppliers, but also for organising my wardrobe, planning my meals during the week and, of course, managing several weddings or events at the same time. It’s really a state of mind; sometimes it’s a bit excessive, but I can assure you it works.
Choosing a wedding planner who has a structured approach is crucial because you can be sure that they will know exactly where to guide you (metaphorically speaking), within what timeframe and according to a list of priorities that can vary from couple to couple. Once I have analysed my clients’ requirements, I usually break down all the tasks (or at least the main areas) into a series of stages leading up to the big day.
To do this, I make use of various technological tools, some of which are made available to the couple, along with all the information they need.
Bear in mind that this working protocol should never be regarded as set in stone. It must always be open to review, because over time new, more effective methods may emerge, or gaps may come to light that need to be corrected and addressed with a different approach. So it is, in reality, a process of continuous evolution and improvement, which is why a more experienced planner is generally more effective.
Does she make you feel more at ease?
A good wedding planner takes the pressure off, she doesn’t add to it. If the feeling she conveys to you is one of relief, that’s an excellent sign! Let’s dispel the myth that it’s only brides who get anxious – grooms often do too. In any case, to a greater or lesser extent, whether it’s him or her, a bit of tension is to be expected.
È importante allora che la Wedding Planner riesca a trasmettere sicurezza e calma non solo a voi ma, oserei dire, anchea tutte quelle persone che orbitano intorno a voi e che sono in certo modo coinvolti nell’organizzazione del vostro matrimonio: il fratello, la migliore amica dei tempa della scuola, i suoceri che contribuiscono alle spese, lo zio che ci tiene tanto a fare quel discorso di apertura perchè vi ha visti crescere…
So, without coming across as a psychologist or mental coach, keeping your cool and conveying that everything is under control is a virtue that should not be underestimated. Like that time when, upon arriving at the venue, there were absolutely no chairs for the guests because the bride’s brother had seen fit to cancel this arrangement on his own initiative.
I’ll spare you the details of the last-minute scramble, but I can assure you that in record time (and it really was a race against the clock), all the guests found their chairs neatly arranged.
Red flags: how to avoid a rip-off!
A ‘rip-off’ involving a wedding planner can take the form of unethical business practices, such as a lack of professionalism or breach of contract, or – worse still – can amount to outright fraud. So here’s the complete guide to avoiding all that.
It would take a whole article, in my opinion, to cover the characteristics of the ideal client, but that’s a whole other story!
They don’t respect your vision
If the planner in question tries at all costs to push stylistic choices that differ from your own, they’re definitely not the right fit for you. Technical issues relating to safety, feasibility and the success of the event are one thing; trying to sell you their pre-packaged version of a ‘one-size-fits-all’ wedding is quite another.
To give a concrete example, it’s commendable that she refuses to have a long carpet laid on the staircases, which lack the necessary fixings for it, as this could be very dangerous for you and your guests (I speak from experience!), but it’s not justifiable for her to force you to choose a specific colour for that carpet. She can certainly offer advice, but she shouldn’t be too overbearing. A colour is merely a stylistic choice; although, given that you’ve chosen her as your consultant, I’d say you should put your trust in her and follow the style advice she offers as closely as possible.
She isn’t discreet enough
If you notice, whilst searching for videos and photos on social media and online, that the infamous wedding planner almost always appears in the foreground in nearly all the wedding videos and photos as if she were a guest, she may lack professionalism.
Be careful, however, not to confuse photos taken for promotional and marketing purposes: sometimes wedding planners have their own personal social media manager, who is a third party separate from the photographer or videographer chosen by the couple and whose sole role is to highlight the planner’s profile in order to promote their business. This role does not in any way affect the wedding photography and videography service, so it is important to distinguish between these two types.
Fake experience
Checking reviews and testimonials from other clients can be a good place to start. Having little experience isn’t a crime (you’ve got to start somewhere!), but boasting about it is a very serious matter.
To my young colleagues who are just starting out, I would advise you to be honest and, above all, to rely on those with more experience than you, so surround yourselves with seasoned professionals and suppliers. The client may (and indeed should) negotiate a lower price, which is justified precisely because you are still at a junior level.
Unclear or inadequate contracts
Immediately after the quotation and before the first payment, the contract is drawn up. The contract – whether for a wedding planner or any other supplier – should precisely define the services offered, the obligations and responsibilities, the payment terms and the cancellation conditions.
The absence of a contract or gaps in it could be a warning sign of a lack of professionalism; at this stage, you should also check their VAT registration and whether this is their main business activity or not. If not, they may be a junior planner (regardless of age), in which case refer to the previous point.
Non-transparent pricing
Sometimes wedding planners receive commissions from their trusted suppliers, due to the collaborative relationship that has developed over time. It is important that this aspect is clear so that you can understand whether or not it will affect the total budget.
Not all wedding planners charge a percentage, whilst some work solely on a percentage basis. Personally, I prefer to set my own fee, and the very rare commissions I do receive never result in a mark-up for the couple and are always invoiced separately; so everything is handled in a very clear and transparent manner.
If, after reading these questions, you feel we have something in common, please do get in touch. There’s no obligation – just a chat to get to know each other better and see if I’m the right person to support you on this journey.
don't happen by chance:
they have to be planned.
